10 Steps to make a hit (The Yeezus Process)

#1 LOVE
With Kanye’s newly released album” Yeezus” already at the the top of the charts, you may be wondering: How can I make a number one album? Well, it’s easy! Just follow these 15 steps and you’ll be on your way to stardom. First things first: hook up with Kim Kardashian..

According to Kanye, “Any woman that you’re in love with or that loves you is going to command a certain amount of, you know, energy. It’s actually easier to focus, in some ways.” Adding, “I’m the type of rock star that likes to have a girlfriend, you know? I’m the type of soul that likes to be in love and likes to be able to focus. And that inspires me.” So, if you’re serious about making a hit record, you’ll need to sweep Kim K off her feet; maybe pop out a daughter with a crazy cool name like “North West”. Sounds intimidating, right? Na, it’s easy. Just have 5 platinum solo albums and 3 Grammys. She’ll be your sweetheart in no time. Hit record, here we come!

#2 COLLABS
They say no man is an island; not even Kanye West. When producing his latest debut he gathered up the best in the business. Daft Punk’s Thomas Bangalter, Skrillex, and RZA all worked on Kanye’s masterpiece. And at the end of the whole process, he enlisted executive producer Rick Rubin (Dude’s worked with artists like Black Sabbath and Johnny Cash) to put the finishing touches on it.

When you begin your journey to musical god status, remember to assemble a crack team of industry giants. Don’t forget to start with some great mentors, though. As for Kanye, he says referring to Jay-Z’s incorporating soul into his music, “… it finally gave me a platform to put the message that my parents put inside of me and that Dead Prez helped to get out of me and Mos Def and [Talib] Kweli, they helped to get out of me: I was able to put it, sloppily rap it, on top of the platform that Jay-Z had created for me.” You know Jay-Z, right?





#3 NO REGRETS

When producing great music, one mustn't be bogged down with painful regrets. So, Mr. West has chosen to simply have none. “I don’t have one regret.” He states.

And referring to the Taylor Swift debacle he says, “I’m just — not afraid, but I know that would be such a distraction. It’s such a strong thing, and people have such a strong feeling about it. “Dark Fantasy” was my long, backhanded apology. You know how people give a backhanded compliment? It was a backhanded apology. It was like, all these raps, all these sonic acrobatics. I was like: “Let me show you guys what I can do, and please accept me back. You want to have me on your shelves.” Way to stick to your guns, Kanye.





#4 FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT


Kanye West is all about his own brand of justice. Something like “Yeezus” can only come from built up frustration. He says, “I’m going to use my platform to tell people that they’re not being fair. Anytime I’ve had a big thing that’s ever pierced and cut across the Internet, it was a fight for justice. Justice.

And when you say justice, it doesn’t have to be war. Justice could just be clearing a path for people to dream properly.” How very noble of you, we mean, of ‘Ye. He also adds, “I remember when both Gnarls Barkley and Justin [Timberlake] lost for Album of the Year, and I looked at Justin, and I was like: “Do you want me to go onstage for you? You know, do you want me to fight?” Umm, yeah, we want you to fight! For us, that is. We’re only trying to put out the next sensational album over here!





#5 BE AWESOME
Popping out a critically acclaimed, hit record will take a loads (insert what type of loads here) of confidence. So, should you take on such a feat, we recommend following Kanye’s advice. Just ooze “complete awesomeness at all times”.

Yes, dear readers; you must know your place, just like Kanye West. I am in the lineage of Gil Scott-Heron, great activist-type artists. But I’m also in the lineage of a Miles Davis — you know, that liked nice things also. Even one of his songs on "Yeezus" is called, “I Am a God”. Sure, why not?

#6  NO NEWS FOR YOU

keep us guessing. How? Well, for starters, you might choose to have over 9 million twitter followers and only display enough tweets we could count with our hands! Hey, if you intend on producing a 9.5 out of 10 star rated album (according to pitchfork.com) you will not have time to tweet away your days; even if you happen to have a baby with one of the biggest celebrities in the business.

Hey, no fair. We’re stoked to share pictures of our lunch! Update us a little! But, in his defense, Kanye says, “…this is my baby. This isn’t America’s baby.” Playing hard to get, are we? Alright, fair enough. But you have to admit, it’s a pretty good strategy for keeping us interested in your record release. So, take a note from Kanye: stop taking pictures of your food and get to work.

#7 BABY BABY
What better way to spark interest in your new record than to time the birth of your first mega-star baby precisely with your record release? Now, we’re not saying Kim Kardashian delivered their prenatal famous baby right before the release of “Yeezus” for the sake of publicity. Ok, she did plan the Caesarian Section birth right before it dropped. And it was beautifully scheduled one month before the birth of Prince William and Duchess Kate’s child.

But, Yeezus! She couldn't hang on to little North forever! Still, planning a precise spawning of your own celeb baby couldn't hurt your record sales. We say give it a try!

#8 DREAM BIG

Don’t forget to set the bar high; really, really high. In his own words, “I think what Kanye West is going to mean is something similar to what Steve Jobs means.” Exactly; you must aspire to Steve Jobs status, and push all boundaries in order to make your own “Yeezus”. West states, “I think that’s a responsibility that I have, to push possibilities, to show people: “This is the level that things could be at.”

So when you get something that has the name Kanye West on it, it’s supposed to be pushing the furthest possibilities. I will be the leader of a company that ends up being worth billions of dollars, because I got the answers. I understand culture. I am the nucleus.”

 #9 BUILD AN IMAGE

Surely, you, as a ground-breaking artist, have experienced your fair share of criticism. Don’t let that stifle your music genius! Just pull a Kanye. You know, if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em. When you become a big shot celebrity, don’t be afraid to make fun of the image the press has of you.

And feel free to include some sarcastic remarks in your lyrics. Like in the new song, “I am God” which says, "I am a god so hurry up with my damn massage and a French-ass restaurant. Hurry up with my damn croissants." Yeah, hurry up!

 #10 YOU SO VAIN

Releasing a record like “Yeezus” requires some vanity. Confidence, bravado, arrogance; you’ll need those start the game off right. But eventually, it’s time to calm down and connect with your inner wise guy.

Like Kanye says, “The longer your ‘gevity is, the more confidence you build. The idea of Kanye and vanity are like, synonymous. But I’ve put myself in a lot of places where a vain person wouldn’t put themselves in. Like what’s vanity about wearing a kilt?”